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Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Aug 30, 2023

Today I am thrilled to be joined by Chuck and Ashley Elliott, content creators who you may recognize from platforms such as YouVersion or RightNow Media. Beyond their online presence, Chuck is a pastor at Bethel Church in Evansville, Indiana, while Ashley serves as a licensed counselor.

Recently, Chuck and Ashley co-authored a transformative book titled I Used to Be ____. Life can take unexpected turns, and when you find yourself grappling with loss- whether it's the loss of a relationship, a job, a sense of security, or an identity- you enter the realm of "used to be." It's a space that can feel stifling, leaving you trapped in memories of what once was. But Chuck and Ashley are here to remind you that while it's natural to dwell in this space for a while, it's not where you're meant to stay.

This episode dives deep into the heart of grief and the path to healing. This is such a powerful conversation that I am so excited to share.

4:39 – Chuck and Ashley 101

  • Meeting at Lee University
  • Finding their love for ministry together
  • The story behind I Used To Be _____

11:56 – Experiencing grief

  • Grief is not linear
  • Everyone’s journey is unique
  • What does God want for us?

27:33 – There is hope

  • God does not want us to stay stuck in these places
  • The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
  • God is worth the sacrifice

38:00 – What God teaches through suffering

  • Through suffering and grief, God can do his best work
  • John 3:30

47:47 – Navigating seasons of loss

  • Acknowledge big and small losses
  • Breathe and be patient with yourself
  • The complex interplay between grief and joy

47:47 – Supporting those in grief

  • Find creative ways to offer support
  • Don’t feel like you have to say the perfect thing
  • Be present


Don’t feel like you have to say the perfect thing because there is no perfect thing to say. When you show up, you don't have to say something to take away their pain.

Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. When you don't feel like you're okay, tell someone you don't feel okay.

You can be joyful and grieving at the same time. You can laugh and cry at the same time.